Stop Your Whingeing

You know what? Julie Bishop’s right.

We should all stop whingeing.

Just as the band Play-N-Skillz – of which Australian X-Factor judge Redfoo appears to be a member – suggests in this paean to empowerment, women should just “shut the fuck up”. In the song, women are repeatedly told to stop whining “Literally, I can’t” to offers of sex, alcohol and drugs. If they don’t shut up, whatever happens is their fault.

Get it?

Yes, indeed.

If you fail to rise to the giddy heights of federal parliament, it’syour fault.

Now, don’t go blaming structural discrimination in the workplace, lack of affordable childcare, or grazed knuckles from knocking on the door.

“Stop whingeing, get on with it and prove them all wrong,” said the most powerful woman in Australia upon becoming the Harper’s Bazaar Woman of the Year.

“Please… do not become a victim,” Ms Bishop said.

Because if you do, it’s your fault: Just like if you get raped for saying “I can’t”, according to the poets at Play-N-Skillz.

After all, who wants gender inequality, which traps women in domestic violence, on the front pages of our newspapers?

We should save that space for stories about what a marvellous job the Coalition is doing.

Here are some other disenfranchised groups who should, frankly, shut the fuck up:

  • Aborigines: Look, I know you die more than a decade earlier, live with a lower standard of education, and have around half the household income, but will you stop yabbering about it? Give it time; things will get better. I know, we did take your land, kill your people, and steal your children. But that’s what the powerful do; such is the history of conquest. We won, you lost: suck it up. After all, in the wise words of our Prime Minister, white settlement was the defining moment of Australia’s history.
  • The Disabled: It’s time for you to stand on your own two feet. As the Treasurer said, we are a nation of, “lifters, not leaners”. You can only imagine what a burden on the budget you are: four million bludgers. If you can’t get a job, accessible housing, or transport, it’s your fault. Why, we in New South Wales provide excellent services through Home Care. It’s so good, we’re about to sell it to the private sector so they can make some money – I mean, make it even better.  And don’t start bellyaching if we sell it to Serco. They’re doing such a splendid job in our detention centres.
  • Migrants: We have the most generous migration program in the world. So, if we choose to call you darkies or chinky-poos, get over it. Respectfully, we reserve the right to, one day, change Section 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act, so we don’t have to, “assimilate to immigrant values”, as Andrew Bolt once wrote. Anyone who complains, well, go and sit at the back of the bus, where you belong.
  • Homosexuals: Enough of the whingeing about marriage equality. Be grateful for what you’ve got: almost the same rights as the rest of us. Of course, in some states, you still can’t register your relationship status, adopt children, or receive fertility treatment. But you’re not being bashed as much.  And as for the so-called ‘pink ceiling’, well, there are plenty of openly gay chief executives, like Apple’s Tim Cook, and Qantas’s Alan Joyce, and, um…

For those of you who still don’t get it, this is what Julie Bishop was trying to say: those who have power deserve it; those who don’t have power should shut the fuck up.

Updated: Julie Bishop replies via Twitter, completely misses the point: